What IS True Love?
Do you ever wonder why the divorce rates are so high these days? Or why many just don't want to put that label on it? Now of days, many want to keep their options open or just don't understand the responsibilities that come with the territory of marriage. But, one of the biggest reasons why more and more people are getting divorced these days is because they are looking for the wrong things. They have unmet expectations. They are looking for what THEY can get out of marriage and not what they can do for their significant other.
The 'true love' we see in the movies, is fictional. Have you ever explained to a child that dogs can't talk, or people can't fly, because "it's just a movie" or "its not real?" The same goes for the love we see in those movies. I would be lying to you if I didn't say that I haven't experienced some of those hyped up Hollywood moments or the feelings we get from watching these love stories. Because it does happen. But they are just moments. Real love isn't all roses and daisies all day every day.
Love, real love, comes from God; because God is Love. (1 John 4:8) Love comes with its share of heart breaks and compromise. That's life on earth.
Love is patient
When you really love someone, you are patient with them. If they need time, if they need YOU, you will do what you can or give them the space they need. I suffer with severe anxiety. My husband does not even understand the concept of anxiety. He knows it exists, but he just doesn't get it. He tries so hard to understand. But, even though he does not, when I'm having one of my moments, he gives me space. He asks what he can do to help ME. He does most of our shopping because being in a busy store is HARD for me. And since I don't like shopping anyway, and he doesn't mind, this WORKS for us!
Love Does Not Envy or Boast
In today's society, people get mad when their significant other talks to the opposite sex, or if they "like" another woman's photo on Facebook. Love is trusting. Some of my husband's closest friends are females, and my best friend is a man. Neither of us have ever distrusted the other. In fact, we can have a real conversation about someone we both think is attractive. And there's nothing to it.
Another thing about today's society is the constant race for the "better." No one cares if your car is faster, or your wedding band is bigger, It does not matter. It's what we DO with our successes that really counts. If my husband makes more money than me, good. He deserves to be paid well for all of his hard work. And it is ALL OUR MONEY anyway.
"Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth." (Colossians 3:2)
"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever." (1 John 2:15-17)
Love is Kind (It Does Not Dishonor Each Other)
You don't ever disrespect your spouse, especially not in the presence of others. Be mindful, listen to each other, reason and compromise with each other. We are called to honor each other; to be submissive to our own husbands, and for men to respect their wives. (Ephesians 5:22, 1 Peter 3:7)
How do you feel when your spouse puts you down, or argues with you in front of guests? So too, do they feel same.
It is Not Proud (It is Not Self-Seeking)
Back to what I stated in the beginning, we are here to serve each other. You did not get married for your gain alone, but for what you both can bring to the table. Does your husband ever bring you home flowers out of nowhere? Plan a romantic night out, just the two of you? He, too, would love those simple gestures. Almost every day that my husband is at work, I send him a cute message. Sometimes, I even include a selfie. I send him a cute quote, a poem I've written, or just simply an "I love you and cannot wait for you to get home today." He may not be able to answer me all the time, but he knows how I feel. And who knows how many horrible days were made better by that one simple text.
Serving each other doesn't have to be via a big romantic gesture every time. It can be as simple as helping with the dishes, cooking his favorite meal, praying for him. Every day when my husband walks through our door, he gets a kiss and a "how was your day?". EVERY DAY! He knows that he can come home and look forward to a loving greeting from his wife and children. And he knows that I care enough to ask about his day.
Love is Not Easily Angered and Keeps No Record of Wrongs
All relationships have their arguments. There's just no way around that. NO two people can agree on EVERYTHING. But, do we get angry at every little thing? They say "opposites attract." And there is some truth in that. I grew up with no money, and as I raised my older two daughters (before meeting my husband), we HAD no money. My husband, on the other hand, was not wealthy, but was never in NEED. Whenever it's time to make any purchase, I brace myself. It's just the way I am wired. I'm getting better in some ways, but it's going to take time. Does he get mad at me? Absolutely not! I'm sure it gets frustrating sometime, but he chooses to be understanding. At least I'm not an over-spender, right?
When it does come down to arguing though, a couple things to remember:
Do not bring up the past or past wrong doings. Love is forgiving. There is no contest on who has done more good (or bad). It will only make things worse for the both of you if you keep bringing up past mistakes.
Never go to bed angry. Always resolve your issues before you both retire for the night; and always kiss each other goodnight.
The true love we find in movies, and books, is amazing! Amazing moments written by wonderful people. But what we share with each other in the every day, real life, is far better than what any fiction writer an write. It was written in the stars by the one TRUE Creator.
